When You're Evil
by HetaliaFromGermanyWithLove
Summary: 2p FACE family. 1p vs 2p . Kill, bash, mangle, stab, cook and bake with foul language, wacky times and just over all not giving two shits. first 2p fic so be kind reveiw faster update. Rated M because otherwise whats the fucking point. 2p England, 2p America, 2p Canada and 2p France. Mirrored 1ps. Open to suggestions
1. Chapter 1

Bloody Good Time

Oliver ran as fast as he could. Never one to be frightened, this was such a rare occasion that upon the run ending into his overly colorful house jumping into Al's arms, damn near ripping the sleeve of the already worn bomber jacket, Al knew something was up. "Oh poppet it's awful!" The strawberry blonde shook with such fright and anxiety that it unnerved his 'son'. The tan skinned, red eyed brunnette jumped up and let the smaller man slide off onto the floor with a '_thunk_' . "What the fuck are you wailing about?!" Before words could be said a sickning all too fammiliar _crack_ sounded from out side signaling that a shovel must be gotten. The two ran from the living room out to the pitch black front yard to find a tall long blonde haired canadian covered in fresh splattred blood from waist to face. "Goddamn it Matt, that was rightfully mine to slaughter, you got the last three!" " Shut it whine bag, if I wanted my head throbbing to get worse I would ask Akbar for therapy sessions, now I smashed this dick head because he was chasing you Ollie, who the fuck is he?"

Oliver took a thoughtful moment to look at the corpse before slyly answering "Bland." The brothers looked at each other and then back at Oliver before Al burst "Is that all?" Oliver scoffed "Well I wasn't going to dirty my hands just yet. I just cleaned these pants!" Al face palmed. The limp body on the ground was a blond haired man that wore a dark green military uniform. "He's not dead Matt, better double tap." Al said looking down. "What the hell are you sayin', of course he's dead." At that point it seemed just to prove him wrong there was a small grunt. " Oh dear me, it seems Arthur is much stronger than it occured to me." Oliver said tapping his chin ever so slightly. "What are you blathering about?" Al asked as he poked at the body with a stick. "Oh boys, come on now, you all know. Allen, you have Alfred. Matt you have Matthew and I have Arthur. They are ourselves of another color and if you don't remember think back to our civil wars, differing political veiws and all other things that we represent." Puppy eyes were made out of the insane baby blue and swirled pink that Oliver held as he finished off with "And they make us out to be murderes and ruthless killers!" Matt and Al once again shot each other glances and Matt spoke up this time.

"Uh, isn't that what we are?" "But of course, what else would we do and who the bloody hell else would take away our fun, why I'm so upset I don't even want to bake!" The brothers held a surprised look on their faces for a moment until Oliver said "Oh, who am I kidding, apron chaps and out of my way, oh but boys be dears why don't you and tie our friend here up in the basement. Can't have him getting away again." With that Oliver left them, humming some tune of sickening sweetness as he strode away. "Fucking insane." Al said and his brother agreed with a nod as they both did as asked so to not get poisoned.


	2. Circus Freaks

_Dun Dun DUUUH! NOT A ONESHOT SIR! But still sucks, so many unfinished 2p fics, makes me sick... IT'S NOT A PHASE PEOPLE_

_Oliver: Calm down love, all in due time!_

_Me: Right.. Anywho... Al, Matt? Care to do the disclaimer._

_Al and Matt (simultaneously): Go fuck yourself._

_Me:Alright._

_*TIme Skip* Matt Al and Myself enter back with bandages and bloody clothes._

_Me: I won._

_Al: Shut up whore._

_Matt: Don't call her that! She's a bitch._

_Me: Love you too. Anyway. _

_Oliver: My poppet doesn't own us or Hetalia. Or 2ptalia. Or anything good._

_Me:Ollie!_

_Oliver:Right sorry! Such love dear! Ha, boys she showed you two how to tango with her bloody hatchet._

_Matt and Al: And there is no bullshit in this chapter..._

_Me:Sweet, sorry, on with the greatest show Unearthed._

Chapter 2:Circus Freaks

It was fifteen after three and this meeting was not making any progress. Luciano (2p Italy) sat at the head of one of the four tables put up in the room, tapping his fingers on the desk and twisting his favored boot knife in his other hand skillfully. Lutz (2p Germany) observed the younger nations actions while noting that if he got too far into boredom he would find a 'fun' way to use that knife. Lutz would bet money on that fun taking place near his face or 'oh! Maybe my neck this time!' his thoughts filled to the brim with sickening sarcasm while beside him Kuro (2p Japan, sorry I don't belive anyone to be incompetent, but there are so many different names for the 2ps') counted Akbars screws in his mechanicle arm while the albino slept through the meeting. The second table held Yang (2p China), Ion (2p Russia) and Flavio (2p Romano, so cutee!). While the Asian and the tall mute were keeping quite, the man in the black t-shirt, white dress jacket with matching pants, played with his pink scarf while singing about a roller coaster. "Oh, but he'll go bad by then, I don't want to knit pick for the good meat, I want the freshest! Allll-" Olivers whining kept on and on right at the fourth table that was (can you guess?!) the FACE table.

Al sat back in the chair with only two of its legs touching the ground. He chewed on a toothpick and kept his sunglasses on seeing as his headache was only getting worse with Ollies bitchin'. "Say, you wouldn't be up for a few rice cakes when we get home, OOH or, or Al I could fix your carrot paste with tofu and red sauce!" Matt snickered "Oh boy Al, sounds tempting-" "Shut it, you're just jealous that I don't have to kill for my meals, unless I have the craving..." "Which I haven't, in all your life, seen you get. You love the wild just like your mother." "Native America knew what the fuck was up. All these Noholo's ruined all they came in contact with!" Oliver and Francios (2p France, yes I had to) watched as the brothers made a simple disscussion go deep but still showed not one fucking emotion. "Blame it on the whites, go ahead-" Across the room Sebastion (2p Spain) had just made it to the meeting when Lutz whistled his way and signaled him over. Sebastion rolled his eyes but obliged all the same. Lutz whispered something in his ear and then when Spain pulled away he flew back into a wall. It took them all a minute to realize Lutz punched the poor bastard into the other room.

"What was that for?" Akbar asked Lutz at a volume that only his brother could hear. "Italia was getting bored." Upon hearing the reason for the random act of violence Luciano brought his face as close as possible to Lutzs' own, making his hat tilt back slightly and Lutz to flinch. "Grazi." Luciano said in one whispered hot breathe and licked the scar on his lovers cheek. "Aw! Francios! How romantic, see? Like that!" France face palmed and was about to strangle the smaller male when Al stood as well as his brother and they began fist fighting. "Now boys, watch out." Oliver said this as a warning. Completely ignoring him the boys kept on. It was all fun and games until Al pulled his bat out from under the table. "Nonononono! Al, young man you put that down this minute!" Oliver felt someone behind him rustle his hair. "That better be who I think it is because if not you will lose that hand, one carprel at a time." Francios chuckled and blew smoke in Ollies' ear from behind. Oliver sputtered and began to pout when he noticed that Al and Matt had both bloodied eachothers mouth and nose AND Al had cut Matts eye with a blade. In turn Matt pulled on Als' lip ring and then Oliver ran between them and stayed there despite the fidgiting from them both.

"THAT IS QUITE A SUFFICIENT AMOUT OF DAMAGE DELT ON EACH PARTY BOYS!" Oliver huffed and straightened his bowtie. "Oliver." A monotone voice that was close was identified as a newly awakend Akbar. "Your hair." It seemed that Ollie and Francios were the only ones to hear Akbar speak as the silverette slinked over to Matt, his 'friend'. Akbar is a selective mute, and has never had a problem speaking to Al or Matt. As for Oliver and Francios they were usually another story. "Oh my! Well I seem to be caught at a bit of a disadvantage! Hehe- uhg!" Oliver was blushing as he took out his compact and applied some pale plated powder to his cheeks and neck. "Maybe he's born with it..." Matt said. "Maybe its Maybali- OOF" Oliver cut Al off with a swift kick to the shin. "Didn't hurt." Al said slyly. Matt hit the back of his head, "We gotta go." "Sweet, let's blow this shit can!" "Popsicle stand!" Oliver corrected. Al rolled his eyes. "Right, let's go!". Outside the four got into their cars, but the brothers rode together. "Al, buckle your seat belt." "Yep." "I'm fucking serious!" "Why?!" Matt was driving about 90 MPH down the freeway and then rammed into the nearest guardrail to answer Als question.

Al smashed through the windsheild and landed on the hood with broken glass and metal shards all in his midsection. "That's why, accidents happen." Matt said serious as a pancake shortage. No answer. "Al?" A few more minutes, still no reply. "He's gonna be pissed in the morning."

_There, more to come. They still have Artie_

_Oliver: Poppet!_

_Me:They aren't cops! Not with this knife to their neck..._

_Matt and Al: Bitch knows what she wants._

_Me: Anywhooo! Review and check out my other fics. Pointers are welcome._


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